I will never forget the day my dad told me he was getting remarried. I was eleven years old and in the 5th grade. He had met a lovely woman and they were ready to take the next step. I was slightly surprised, but not upset. It was his next words that shook me to the core – “We are moving.” My life was OVER!
After living through the experience and then moving my own children several times, I understand the stress a move can cause kids. They are frightened of a strange, new place, don’t want to leave their old friends, and are intimidated by making new friends. But, with a little attention to the subject and a well thought out plan, you can make moving a little less scary for your children. Below are some pointers that helped my family make a smooth transition:
· Be truthful. Be upfront with your kids about your intentions of moving. Don’t skirt around the issue. You are the parent and you are making the decisions that are best for your family.
· Listen. Don’t discount your children’s feelings. Once they hear they are moving they will be feeling a host of emotions and they will only feel secure in sharing them with you if they feel you are empathetic. (And don’t tell them it’s not the end of the world...at that moment in time, it IS the end of their world. In time they will see it is just the beginning but for now, let them vent.)
· Give time for goodbye. Allow plenty of time for your children to say goodbye to their friends. Remind them they can continue the relationship via email, phone, Facebook, and Skype! Consider making plans for a visit in the not-so-distant future so that the goodbye is more of a “see-you-later.”
· Involve your kids in the buying process. You may not want to take your kids to all of the showings, but once you have your home choice narrowed down to two or three, take them along so they can get the lay of the land. Let them envision where their rooms will be, where dinner will take place, etc.
· Acquaint them to the area. Make several visits to the area where you will be moving and allow your children to experience what their new neighborhood has to offer. Visit a park, go to a museum, take in a concert. Show your kids how fun their new environment can be!
· Visit their new school. You know how awkward it can be on your first day at a new job? Now, put yourself in your kids shoes. It’s not a good feeling to just show up at school one day and not know where you are going. Schedule a few visits to their new school and let them meet some of the teachers and get to know their way around. They will feel much more confident on their first day if they feel like they are not blindfolded!
· Let creativity flow. Give your kids some freedom in decorating their own room. I am not saying let them paint the room black, but give them some options in the paint color and allow them to select the theme. This will give them a place to turn to feel safe and comfortable when the going gets rough.
By following some of these tips I hope your children find the excitement in moving and you find a little peace of mind knowing your children will adapt.
